"You got anything to clean this shit with? Like a newspaper or something?" said Ace.
Ace and Hal had just finished playing three sets of tennis and were about to get high together for the first time since their new friendship began a few weeks ago. They sat in Hal's Jeep in the nearly empty parking lot outside the health club. The air was cooling down now and dampness began to close around them like a freshly washed bed sheet.
"I think there might be a folder on the floor behind you" Hal said. "It's from a training I just had on the new DVR service we are rolling out next month. Has your department told you anything about it yet?"
"Yeah. It sounds pretty cool....if it fucking works!" cracked Ace.
He found the binder and he began to break apart the buds and carefully separate the sticks and seeds. They both worked for the same cable company but in different departments. They knew they could help each other out a lot with any number of endless problems that came up at work each day but they were not at that point in their friendship just yet. They also knew that could change in the next few minutes.
Ace finished cleaning the weed and rolled a joint and lit it. He inhaled deeply and held the smoke in his lungs for as long as he could. Then he exhaled slowly, very slowly. He tried not to cough but it was useless. He gagged and tried to choke back a series of small spasms erupting from deep within his lungs. Ace let go of the very last part of his hit and as he did so a little bit of little spittle flew out of his mouth and ran down his chin. He exhaled the blue smoke out the car window hoping he would not smell like dope when he got home. But he knew damn well it was impossible to hide and he would have to shower before he got in bed or his wife the lawyer would smell the stench in his hair and breath.
Immediately his eyes turned red and he became pleasantly lightheaded. He passed the joint to Hal and waited. Just then he let out one last gasp. It was just the faintest cough and he fought hard to keep his lungs from going into a spasm. He exhaled as slowly as he could, pursing his lips like he was about to let out a whistle. Ace's eyes were watering now and as he finished his last breath a strange sound slowly came out of his mouth.
"Whoooyee" sputtered Ace, coughing twice.
"What" asked Hal?
Ace was completely out of breath and couldn't say a word. He closed his eyes and simply let sensation of the buzz enter his brain and then warm his ear canals. After a minute he tried to speak.
"Who" was all he could get out of his mouth. That was quickly followed by a succession of rapid fire "he, he, he" coughs and gasps. Ace passed the joint to Hal who toke a long toke. Hal released his hit and as he did so he turned to Ace and said "Whooey? What the fuck is Whooey?"
Ace held his breath trying to hold back his cough. He knew if he coughed once he would end up coughing twenty or thirty times now. This question suddenly seemed very funny to Ace and he tried very hard not to laugh because that would only cause his cough to start up again. Of course, the more he tried not to laugh the funnier the whole thing seemed to him. He was ready for another drag and he reached for the joint. Ace pulled on the cigarette with a gently tug, held it in and then released the hit. He shaped his lips into a small circle and finished clearing his lungs of air and finished by making a faint whistle, followed again by a soft "Whooey."
Then Hal took a hit and tried to mimic the sound himself. This was too much for the two stoners and they burst out laughing. Tears filled their eyes as the tried to control themselves but, of course, this only made things more hysterical. "Whooey" they both sang in unison.
Hal observed "This is good Whooey!"
"Whooey'd you get this shit from?" asked Ace, convinced he was the funniest guy in the world.
They were having a blast. It had been a long time since Ace had his last giggling fit. Life seldom allowed him to really relax these past five or six years. All his buddies were always busy. Everyone had young families now and careers that demanded many hours of work. For years Ace organized a softball team. It was a perfect excuse for them to all get together and run around for a few hours every Monday night. But then each passing summer another friend would drop off the team and Ace was forced to find more and more replacements. They were all good guys for sure, but for Ace, the best part of the night was always afterward when they would all stop at the pub for burgers and beers. It was obvious to anyone who saw them together how much they all enjoyed each others company and Ace reveled in the comraderie he helped create week after week.
Then, after almost ten years, the softball team finally disbanded. In truth, Ace was relieved. It took a tremendous amount of effort to keep it going and this was before cell phones and email. And although he was not sure what it was, Ace knew he was was looking for something more out of his friendships now. The old gang was great but they were a hard drinking bunch. And they all smoked a lot of pot. Too much pot and he knew it. And real exercise, the kind where you break a full sweat, well, that was not a priority. They would rather watch sports on TV rather than go out and actually play anything - other than golf - which Ace considered a hobby and not a true sport. The truth was, they were all over forty and going their own ways and none of them, including Ace, were in very good shape.
So Ace joined a tennis club, started eating better and was finally starting to back off smoking so much weed. In time, he hope he would be able to build up his game and find some new friends along the way. Hal probably was not going to fill the bill in that regard. He was nothing like any of Ace's other friends, that's for sure. First of all, he was black. Nothing wrong with that. It's just that he never had any black friends before. Plus, he might be gay.
Ace was not even sure if Hal was gay. And even if he was, it wouldn't stop him from playing tennis with him. Afterall, ten years ago Ace had gotten friendly with another gay man. Jim was openly gay and although they were not the best of friends it was a relationship that Ace had enjoyed. They even went to Provincetown, Massacusetts - the unofficial gay capital of New England - together for one weekend. Jim never tried to come on to him or did anything that even remotley hinted that he wanted to get into bed with him. Once that trust was established the friendship blossomed.
Ace pulled out two beers from his little igloo cooler, opened both and handed one to Hal. "Whooey" he said, and they clinked beers. Just then a dark colored sedan entered the parking lot and started driving towards them. At first they thought it might be an unmarked patrol car but it was driving too slowly to be the cops. There were only a few cars left in the lot and none of the stores in the mall were open.
"What's this guy up too?" Ace wondered?
Hal said, "What do you mean? "
"He's looking for something, that's for sure." Ace said as he crushed out the last of the roach they were smoking.
The sedan made a big circle around the perimiter of the parking lot and then slowly crusied by each of the parked cars that were scattered around the darken lot. Even when Ace was really buzzed he never really relaxed completely. He like to think he had pretty good "street smarts" which he attributed partly to the fact that his brother was a police detective and partly from his years of selling weed on the side.
The mystery car circled the parking lot a second time and then drove past each of the four or five parked cars very slowly. Finally, the car turned and started driving staight for Hal's Jeep.
"What does this asshole want?" snapped Ace. "Do you know this guy or something?"
The sedan pulled alongside Hal's Jeep and came to a dead stop. A young dude with blonde hair looked at Hal and gave a slight nod with his head. Now Ace understood. This guy wasn't a cop. He was one of Hal's queer buddies and this was a set up. They were going to try and talk Ace into a three-way. It made perfect sense. After all, it was obvious that Hal was attracted to Ace. He wasn't interested in playing tennis with Ace. He wanted to play with his dick.
Then the car drove off and out of the parking lot.
Hal said "You got another beer?"
"Oh, sure" Ace said and handed him another bottle. It had been hot that day and Ace had done a lot of yardwork before he went to the club. And he really hadn't had much to eat since he did like to have a big meal before playing. His blood sugar had to be getting low and now the beer and the joint were really kicking in.
"You don't know who that was?" asked Ace.
"No. Just some guy cruising, probably looking for a quick hook up" Hal said. "Why?"
"No reason," Ace said. Then he added, "Whooey do you think he was looking for?"
"Well, he certainly wasn't looking for your little prick," Hal laughed. Then he flicked his lighter and reached for the roach in Ace's hand.
Ace and Hal had just finished playing three sets of tennis and were about to get high together for the first time since their new friendship began a few weeks ago. They sat in Hal's Jeep in the nearly empty parking lot outside the health club. The air was cooling down now and dampness began to close around them like a freshly washed bed sheet.
"I think there might be a folder on the floor behind you" Hal said. "It's from a training I just had on the new DVR service we are rolling out next month. Has your department told you anything about it yet?"
"Yeah. It sounds pretty cool....if it fucking works!" cracked Ace.
He found the binder and he began to break apart the buds and carefully separate the sticks and seeds. They both worked for the same cable company but in different departments. They knew they could help each other out a lot with any number of endless problems that came up at work each day but they were not at that point in their friendship just yet. They also knew that could change in the next few minutes.
Ace finished cleaning the weed and rolled a joint and lit it. He inhaled deeply and held the smoke in his lungs for as long as he could. Then he exhaled slowly, very slowly. He tried not to cough but it was useless. He gagged and tried to choke back a series of small spasms erupting from deep within his lungs. Ace let go of the very last part of his hit and as he did so a little bit of little spittle flew out of his mouth and ran down his chin. He exhaled the blue smoke out the car window hoping he would not smell like dope when he got home. But he knew damn well it was impossible to hide and he would have to shower before he got in bed or his wife the lawyer would smell the stench in his hair and breath.
Immediately his eyes turned red and he became pleasantly lightheaded. He passed the joint to Hal and waited. Just then he let out one last gasp. It was just the faintest cough and he fought hard to keep his lungs from going into a spasm. He exhaled as slowly as he could, pursing his lips like he was about to let out a whistle. Ace's eyes were watering now and as he finished his last breath a strange sound slowly came out of his mouth.
"Whoooyee" sputtered Ace, coughing twice.
"What" asked Hal?
Ace was completely out of breath and couldn't say a word. He closed his eyes and simply let sensation of the buzz enter his brain and then warm his ear canals. After a minute he tried to speak.
"Who" was all he could get out of his mouth. That was quickly followed by a succession of rapid fire "he, he, he" coughs and gasps. Ace passed the joint to Hal who toke a long toke. Hal released his hit and as he did so he turned to Ace and said "Whooey? What the fuck is Whooey?"
Ace held his breath trying to hold back his cough. He knew if he coughed once he would end up coughing twenty or thirty times now. This question suddenly seemed very funny to Ace and he tried very hard not to laugh because that would only cause his cough to start up again. Of course, the more he tried not to laugh the funnier the whole thing seemed to him. He was ready for another drag and he reached for the joint. Ace pulled on the cigarette with a gently tug, held it in and then released the hit. He shaped his lips into a small circle and finished clearing his lungs of air and finished by making a faint whistle, followed again by a soft "Whooey."
Then Hal took a hit and tried to mimic the sound himself. This was too much for the two stoners and they burst out laughing. Tears filled their eyes as the tried to control themselves but, of course, this only made things more hysterical. "Whooey" they both sang in unison.
Hal observed "This is good Whooey!"
"Whooey'd you get this shit from?" asked Ace, convinced he was the funniest guy in the world.
They were having a blast. It had been a long time since Ace had his last giggling fit. Life seldom allowed him to really relax these past five or six years. All his buddies were always busy. Everyone had young families now and careers that demanded many hours of work. For years Ace organized a softball team. It was a perfect excuse for them to all get together and run around for a few hours every Monday night. But then each passing summer another friend would drop off the team and Ace was forced to find more and more replacements. They were all good guys for sure, but for Ace, the best part of the night was always afterward when they would all stop at the pub for burgers and beers. It was obvious to anyone who saw them together how much they all enjoyed each others company and Ace reveled in the comraderie he helped create week after week.
Then, after almost ten years, the softball team finally disbanded. In truth, Ace was relieved. It took a tremendous amount of effort to keep it going and this was before cell phones and email. And although he was not sure what it was, Ace knew he was was looking for something more out of his friendships now. The old gang was great but they were a hard drinking bunch. And they all smoked a lot of pot. Too much pot and he knew it. And real exercise, the kind where you break a full sweat, well, that was not a priority. They would rather watch sports on TV rather than go out and actually play anything - other than golf - which Ace considered a hobby and not a true sport. The truth was, they were all over forty and going their own ways and none of them, including Ace, were in very good shape.
So Ace joined a tennis club, started eating better and was finally starting to back off smoking so much weed. In time, he hope he would be able to build up his game and find some new friends along the way. Hal probably was not going to fill the bill in that regard. He was nothing like any of Ace's other friends, that's for sure. First of all, he was black. Nothing wrong with that. It's just that he never had any black friends before. Plus, he might be gay.
Ace was not even sure if Hal was gay. And even if he was, it wouldn't stop him from playing tennis with him. Afterall, ten years ago Ace had gotten friendly with another gay man. Jim was openly gay and although they were not the best of friends it was a relationship that Ace had enjoyed. They even went to Provincetown, Massacusetts - the unofficial gay capital of New England - together for one weekend. Jim never tried to come on to him or did anything that even remotley hinted that he wanted to get into bed with him. Once that trust was established the friendship blossomed.
Ace pulled out two beers from his little igloo cooler, opened both and handed one to Hal. "Whooey" he said, and they clinked beers. Just then a dark colored sedan entered the parking lot and started driving towards them. At first they thought it might be an unmarked patrol car but it was driving too slowly to be the cops. There were only a few cars left in the lot and none of the stores in the mall were open.
"What's this guy up too?" Ace wondered?
Hal said, "What do you mean? "
"He's looking for something, that's for sure." Ace said as he crushed out the last of the roach they were smoking.
The sedan made a big circle around the perimiter of the parking lot and then slowly crusied by each of the parked cars that were scattered around the darken lot. Even when Ace was really buzzed he never really relaxed completely. He like to think he had pretty good "street smarts" which he attributed partly to the fact that his brother was a police detective and partly from his years of selling weed on the side.
The mystery car circled the parking lot a second time and then drove past each of the four or five parked cars very slowly. Finally, the car turned and started driving staight for Hal's Jeep.
"What does this asshole want?" snapped Ace. "Do you know this guy or something?"
The sedan pulled alongside Hal's Jeep and came to a dead stop. A young dude with blonde hair looked at Hal and gave a slight nod with his head. Now Ace understood. This guy wasn't a cop. He was one of Hal's queer buddies and this was a set up. They were going to try and talk Ace into a three-way. It made perfect sense. After all, it was obvious that Hal was attracted to Ace. He wasn't interested in playing tennis with Ace. He wanted to play with his dick.
Then the car drove off and out of the parking lot.
Hal said "You got another beer?"
"Oh, sure" Ace said and handed him another bottle. It had been hot that day and Ace had done a lot of yardwork before he went to the club. And he really hadn't had much to eat since he did like to have a big meal before playing. His blood sugar had to be getting low and now the beer and the joint were really kicking in.
"You don't know who that was?" asked Ace.
"No. Just some guy cruising, probably looking for a quick hook up" Hal said. "Why?"
"No reason," Ace said. Then he added, "Whooey do you think he was looking for?"
"Well, he certainly wasn't looking for your little prick," Hal laughed. Then he flicked his lighter and reached for the roach in Ace's hand.
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