It didn't matter what time of day Ralph went to Costco because it seemed liked it was always busy. That was probably only because if there was one chore he hated more than anything it was shopping. Clothes, furniture, even tools - he hated it all. It seemed like he could never quite find exactly what he was looking for no matter what it was and the sales people were almost always of no help. The only fun he ever really had shopping was if he was buying tennis clothes or equipment. That was okay because he knew what he wanted, where to find it and what it should cost. If only the rest of life was so straight forward, thought Ralph.
He parked at the end of the row, far from the entrance. He didn't mind walking a little since he figured it helped keep him in shape for his weekly tennis match. Trying to find a spot near the entrance was a waste of time as far as he was concerned. Nothing but old ladies and mom's with little kids who always took forever. It was faster to just walk the extra distance and besides, he had to get in and out and still have time to put all the crap away and then pickup the kids from school and then drive his ass the 45 minutes to work. When he first started working a second shift he thought it would be nice to have some free time during the day for a change. But his very organized wife made sure that was not going to happen. She was relentless with her damn lists and charts of everything that needed to be done each day. Make the beds, vacuum, dust, laundry, dishes - Christ, he felt like Cinderfucking- Rella. God forbid if he sneaked out and played a couple of sets mid week during the warm weather. He got so tired of hearing her complain whenever she saw his sweat soaked tennis clothes in the laundry that he started to hide them in the trunk of his car just so he could wash them later when she was not home.
Well, at least food shopping wasn't so bad. He knew pretty much where everything he needed could be found in the store so he didn't need to spend a lot of time hunting for anything. It drove Ralph bonkers whenever the regular grocery stores would reorganize their shelves. Lately, it seemed like every couple of years either Shaw's or Stop & Shop would get some new whiz kid manager and the first thing they would do is redesign the layout of the place thinking sales would take off and so would their career. Shit, thought Ralph. Nothing could be more aggravating than spending ten minutes looking for the damned smoked almonds with no salt that his wife put in her lunch salad every day. Asking any of the clueless, generation Y help to look up from their fucking iphones for two seconds to help you was simply a waste of time. Costco, on the other hand, keep it simple. You were on your own and everybody who went there was cool with it. The aisles were nice and wide and there wasn't any of that bland, non offensive soft rock crap playing softly over the intercom system. Get your stuff - in bulk - get out and get on with your life was just the way Ralph wanted it.
Ralph made his way through the store following his standard route past the table full of jeans and discount books. He grabbed a huge salmon fillet that he would freeze when he got home so they could eat it Saturday night which they did almost every week. He and his wife had been doing that for the past few years which they enjoyed but the kids hated. His wife decided that they should have one meal together each week just for themselves. Since Ralph worked nights and wasn't home for dinner, that left Saturday night for them and Sunday night as the only dinner they could have together as a entire family. It wasn't an ideal arrangement, but, like so many Americans these days who were forced to patch together their work schedules with their home life, they made it work. So they fed the kids some chicken nuggets or pizza and then they slipped out to the living room where they opened a bottle of wine and simply sat and talked while they listened to music. No television and no devices were allowed. On warm summers nights Ralph would make vodka tonics and they would sit on the deck and enjoy their backyard which was more or less semi-seculded, at least by suburban standards. Ralph had to be careful not to drink too much because he had an early morning match on the outdoor clay courts on Sundays. During the Winter they would sit in the living room and Ralph would build a fire and his wife would light some candles. On those nights he could have an extra drink or two since it was too cold to play outside. He picked out a two-pound fillet and threw it in the cart.
Ralph stopped next to the huge crates of fruit to pick out some melons which was practically the only healthy thing he could get the kids to eat these days. He noticed an elderly couple making their way toward him. They must have been close to eighty years old each and they shuffled along, both helping to push the cart. It was odd to see an older couple in a wholesale store. Only large families and small restaurant owners shopped here. What could they possibly be buying, he thought? Ralph inspected the cantaloupes and tried to imagine what it would be like to be married for as long as this couple must have been together.
If there was one thing Ralph understood in life it was that there was just no telling what made any marriage work, his included. He had his doubts from time to time. He knew going into it his wife would not be easy to live with because of her Type-A personality. It really wasn't all her fault. After all, her parents' marriage was a wreck even though they never did divorce. She was probably overcompensating, trying to succeed where they had failed. Sometimes Ralph wished he had paid more attention to his future in-laws' relationship when he was still dating their daughter. Once his wife said she thought they just sort of "gave up" on their marriage.
She was a problem solver, Ralph knew that much after twenty-five years. So when she came up with her Satruday night plan he was not surprised. He knew they had to do something or the last third of his life was going to be miserable. But just sitting and talking and no television?
It took the kids a while to learn not to come in and bother them every fifteen minutes. Then, as the kids got older, they became accustomed to mom and dad's "living room dates" and they started to leave them alone more and more. It didn't hurt either that they each had their own smartphones and tablets to help keep them busy. So Ralph and his wife sat and talked and it was nice. For his wife's birthday last year he bought her a Bose Radio with a docking station for her iPod. He had wanted to get one a few years ago but she said they were too expensive. But as soon as she plugged it in and hooked up her music she was sold. In fact, she said she thought it was an "inspired" gift because it showed that he put a lot of thought into his purchase. Soon she began making her own play lists just for Saturday nights. Sinatra, Blossom Dearie, Ella Fitzgerald. It was good music and it helped them both to relax.
"Get some bananas" the old woman said to her husband. The old man was bent over with age but did as he was instructed. Ralph watched and wondered what was the secret to their marriage. The bananas were being sold twenty or more to a bunch, just they way they come when cut from the tree. Ralph couldn't help but wonder why they wanted so many bananas. Maybe they were shopping for friends, he thought. The old man struggled as he made his way back to the carriage with his ream of bananas.
She scolded him, "These are too green. Get some that aren't so green."
Every banana in the crate was bright green. Ralph watched the old man make his way back over to the pile of fruit and he thought about all the times his own wife was impossible to please. She told him he folded his son's shirts too wide which made it hard to fit them in his dresser. There was a better way to load the dishwasher, a faster way to make the bed and just how much water he should give each plant. But the old gentleman did as he was asked and came back with another bunch of bananas for his bride to inspect.
"These are too green too," she complained.
The old timer raised his head a bit and simply said "Get your own bananas" and walked away.
Ralph chuckled. He couldn't wait to tell his wife about his trip to Costco when they sat together Saturday night.
He parked at the end of the row, far from the entrance. He didn't mind walking a little since he figured it helped keep him in shape for his weekly tennis match. Trying to find a spot near the entrance was a waste of time as far as he was concerned. Nothing but old ladies and mom's with little kids who always took forever. It was faster to just walk the extra distance and besides, he had to get in and out and still have time to put all the crap away and then pickup the kids from school and then drive his ass the 45 minutes to work. When he first started working a second shift he thought it would be nice to have some free time during the day for a change. But his very organized wife made sure that was not going to happen. She was relentless with her damn lists and charts of everything that needed to be done each day. Make the beds, vacuum, dust, laundry, dishes - Christ, he felt like Cinderfucking- Rella. God forbid if he sneaked out and played a couple of sets mid week during the warm weather. He got so tired of hearing her complain whenever she saw his sweat soaked tennis clothes in the laundry that he started to hide them in the trunk of his car just so he could wash them later when she was not home.
Well, at least food shopping wasn't so bad. He knew pretty much where everything he needed could be found in the store so he didn't need to spend a lot of time hunting for anything. It drove Ralph bonkers whenever the regular grocery stores would reorganize their shelves. Lately, it seemed like every couple of years either Shaw's or Stop & Shop would get some new whiz kid manager and the first thing they would do is redesign the layout of the place thinking sales would take off and so would their career. Shit, thought Ralph. Nothing could be more aggravating than spending ten minutes looking for the damned smoked almonds with no salt that his wife put in her lunch salad every day. Asking any of the clueless, generation Y help to look up from their fucking iphones for two seconds to help you was simply a waste of time. Costco, on the other hand, keep it simple. You were on your own and everybody who went there was cool with it. The aisles were nice and wide and there wasn't any of that bland, non offensive soft rock crap playing softly over the intercom system. Get your stuff - in bulk - get out and get on with your life was just the way Ralph wanted it.
Ralph made his way through the store following his standard route past the table full of jeans and discount books. He grabbed a huge salmon fillet that he would freeze when he got home so they could eat it Saturday night which they did almost every week. He and his wife had been doing that for the past few years which they enjoyed but the kids hated. His wife decided that they should have one meal together each week just for themselves. Since Ralph worked nights and wasn't home for dinner, that left Saturday night for them and Sunday night as the only dinner they could have together as a entire family. It wasn't an ideal arrangement, but, like so many Americans these days who were forced to patch together their work schedules with their home life, they made it work. So they fed the kids some chicken nuggets or pizza and then they slipped out to the living room where they opened a bottle of wine and simply sat and talked while they listened to music. No television and no devices were allowed. On warm summers nights Ralph would make vodka tonics and they would sit on the deck and enjoy their backyard which was more or less semi-seculded, at least by suburban standards. Ralph had to be careful not to drink too much because he had an early morning match on the outdoor clay courts on Sundays. During the Winter they would sit in the living room and Ralph would build a fire and his wife would light some candles. On those nights he could have an extra drink or two since it was too cold to play outside. He picked out a two-pound fillet and threw it in the cart.
Ralph stopped next to the huge crates of fruit to pick out some melons which was practically the only healthy thing he could get the kids to eat these days. He noticed an elderly couple making their way toward him. They must have been close to eighty years old each and they shuffled along, both helping to push the cart. It was odd to see an older couple in a wholesale store. Only large families and small restaurant owners shopped here. What could they possibly be buying, he thought? Ralph inspected the cantaloupes and tried to imagine what it would be like to be married for as long as this couple must have been together.
If there was one thing Ralph understood in life it was that there was just no telling what made any marriage work, his included. He had his doubts from time to time. He knew going into it his wife would not be easy to live with because of her Type-A personality. It really wasn't all her fault. After all, her parents' marriage was a wreck even though they never did divorce. She was probably overcompensating, trying to succeed where they had failed. Sometimes Ralph wished he had paid more attention to his future in-laws' relationship when he was still dating their daughter. Once his wife said she thought they just sort of "gave up" on their marriage.
She was a problem solver, Ralph knew that much after twenty-five years. So when she came up with her Satruday night plan he was not surprised. He knew they had to do something or the last third of his life was going to be miserable. But just sitting and talking and no television?
It took the kids a while to learn not to come in and bother them every fifteen minutes. Then, as the kids got older, they became accustomed to mom and dad's "living room dates" and they started to leave them alone more and more. It didn't hurt either that they each had their own smartphones and tablets to help keep them busy. So Ralph and his wife sat and talked and it was nice. For his wife's birthday last year he bought her a Bose Radio with a docking station for her iPod. He had wanted to get one a few years ago but she said they were too expensive. But as soon as she plugged it in and hooked up her music she was sold. In fact, she said she thought it was an "inspired" gift because it showed that he put a lot of thought into his purchase. Soon she began making her own play lists just for Saturday nights. Sinatra, Blossom Dearie, Ella Fitzgerald. It was good music and it helped them both to relax.
"Get some bananas" the old woman said to her husband. The old man was bent over with age but did as he was instructed. Ralph watched and wondered what was the secret to their marriage. The bananas were being sold twenty or more to a bunch, just they way they come when cut from the tree. Ralph couldn't help but wonder why they wanted so many bananas. Maybe they were shopping for friends, he thought. The old man struggled as he made his way back to the carriage with his ream of bananas.
She scolded him, "These are too green. Get some that aren't so green."
Every banana in the crate was bright green. Ralph watched the old man make his way back over to the pile of fruit and he thought about all the times his own wife was impossible to please. She told him he folded his son's shirts too wide which made it hard to fit them in his dresser. There was a better way to load the dishwasher, a faster way to make the bed and just how much water he should give each plant. But the old gentleman did as he was asked and came back with another bunch of bananas for his bride to inspect.
"These are too green too," she complained.
The old timer raised his head a bit and simply said "Get your own bananas" and walked away.
Ralph chuckled. He couldn't wait to tell his wife about his trip to Costco when they sat together Saturday night.
Good stuff Ace...Great pacing with the subplot of the older couple I thought...Got a big laugh out of me!
ReplyDeleteIt will be fun catching up on life, love and everything else at TT next weekend.